Potty Humor

Sooooo... what do you do when you have a toilet seat sitting in your kitchen sink? What? You've never had a toilet seat sitting in your sink, you say? How gross, you say? WELL, I have a toilet seat sitting in my kitchen sink right now, and let me tell you what we do. We laugh about it. And make jokes about it. And it will keep being funny until... well, until the toilet seat isn't in the sink anymore.


So let me tell you a story. We'll call it

I'm Getting New Shelves In My Laundry Room

Mike and I have come to an agreement about laundry and dishes. He doesn't like to put the clean stuff away, and I don't like to wash the dirty stuff. So he has been doing all of the washing/drying and I have been doing all of the putting away (and I recently decided to add to my list the handwashing of the dishes that can't go in the dishwasher).

Anyway, things have been running along smoothly for several weeks, with both of us doing our jobs and even helping each other out once in a while. Basically, "helping each other out" means that Mike helped me empty the dishwasher once and I threw in a load of laundry for him once. But like I said, things have been going smoothly, so we usually don't enter into each other's territory.

Well, Mike got tired of having stuff sitting on the dryer, because when you pull the clothes out of the laundry chute they land on the top of the dryer and whatever happens to be on top of the dryer comes tumbling off and lands on your feet, or just gets mixed up in the jumble of clothes. It is very annoying, and it finally made him mad. And that is the story of how the toilet seat got broken. Oh yeah, and the story of why I am getting new shelves in my laundry room!

Huh, you say?

Well, I really have no idea how it happened, and I wasn't going to ask, but the next thing I knew, the toilet seat was in the sink. I know that strange things happen when I get angry sometimes, and Mike is very understanding and doesn't ask questions, so I figured I'd give him this one.

Anyway, that evening, just about an hour later, I was frying shells for tacos and Bonnie somehow sensed that from 15 miles away and called. Just kidding, Bonnie. It IS the second time that has happened, though. It was pretty funny. So they got a dinner invitation. And while we all sat here eating tacos and baby-watching -- Diamond was making faces in her sleep -- we kept making cracks (no pun intended) about the toilet seat sitting in our kitchen sink.

And that's pretty much the whole story. Mike has gone to Lowe's and brought back two toilet seats so far (one of the trips was when we learned that Bonnie and Caleb were coming over, and we knew that we would need a toilet seat ON the toilet in the guest bathroom if we were going to be proper hosts. Neither of the ones we have tried were the right shape, so right now the bottom half of the broken seat rests gingerly on the toilet until we can get a new one.

Apparently we have the only SQUARE toilet around here. Maybe that's something they only do in California and New York. And I'm sure that Caleb would tell us that we don't want to replace the toilet (after a long, arduous toilet-replacing episode he went through several weeks ago) unless it REALLY needs to be replaced, so we'll special order the toilet seat from CA or NY if we have to.

All right, it's almost time for me to go. I promised the boys that we could play with Play-Doh and go outside to play, not necessarily in that order, after I got done on the computer (and I said I would be done soon), and we don't break our Play-Doh promises around here.

One other thing, though. I am going to be implementing a schedule soon, and that could mean one of two things. Either it will work so well that I will have time scheduled to blog regularly (hallelujah!) or it will work so well that I will realize all of the responsibilities (there are FOUR i's in that word!?) that I have been shirking and will be so busy getting everything done that blogging will become a thing of the past, or a once-monthly venture, or some such thing. I'm hoping for the former scenario as I really enjoy blogging, but I felt I needed to give my readers fair warning.

Maybe I'll blog about the schedule! That should be interesting. And scary. I've never been good at keeping a schedule, as Mike can tell you. My "schedules" are more like "goals". If I happen to get something done that was on the schedule, I cross it off. And if I do something that wasn't on the schedule, I write it down, then cross it off. Come on, people, I know I'm not the only one who does that.

Okay, off to play outside with two little boys who are hopping around right now, trying to put their crocs on.